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Should you love your job to be happy?

Flourish in his profession is a strong aspiration for many of us . But because we do not exercise the right job or we exercise in bad conditions , it is not always possible. What are the real reasons for our professional frustrations? And how to put the work in its proper place ?

"A punishment for original sin, that we tried to do as quickly as possible and then forget in alcohol and religion" ... This is what was once considered the work , says Alain de Botton, writer and journalist , author of Splendours and Miseries of work.
 
The Enlightenment has radically changed the situation. "While Aristotle did not conceive that we can be happy being forced to earn a living - our freedom accommodating a lot of stress - the philosophers of the eighteenth century saw the possibility of finding a form of development in the exercise of his profession. " Today it is a cultural obligation. "In our society of personal fulfillment, work has become one of the main vectors of self-realization ," says sociologist Vincent Gaulejac . So that even when we occupy a job that does not passionate about , we seek to find an interest . Our design work is now closely linked to the notion of personal enrichment .
"Ideally, we aspire to build on a valuable part of yourself to make a comfortable income , says Alain de Botton . It sounds simple . This is monstrously complicated. " Because in reality, " an employer expects of an employee, is not it fun to make - even if it encourages them - but it contributes to the profitability of its case , one is not always compatible with each other , "says Vincent Gaulejac .

Not only reduce its activity

" This is because we put a lot of ourselves that work exposes us to disappointment, even deep wounds narcissistic says the sociologist . Because if it happens that our service is not suitable , it's our whole person who is no longer the case. " More a business requires creative and interpersonal skills , the more confusion between the value of an individual and her work is common.
 
And we are the first to speak when, for example, " we ask people we meet on their activity , assuming that we will discover something of their identity ," says Alain de Botton . But also clinging to the notion of vocation. "This idealized form of professional achievement is actually a hoax , says Pierre - White Sahnoun, coach and psychotherapist . As the profession of passion which we believe is most often for a loan : a tribute to a parent or ancestor, we are trying to make in taking up the torch of his thwarted desires. " Anyway , do not engage in activity that we dreamed is a real pain.
Eric , 35, saw himself cartoonist and ended up designing packaging. "I had the impression of not being recognized for what I was deeply ," said the young man, who eventually resigned . Terribly frustrating , these sacrifices due to improper orientation or the need to earn a living lead to a " devaluation of the self-image difficult to restore ," thinks the psychoanalyst Marie- Hélène Brousse .
Have the feeling of being useful
Exercise the profession of his choice, but in poor conditions is another reason for dissatisfaction . Frances, 39 , a nurse in a psychiatric hospital : " We are asked to improve relations with the patient, to be more profitable in the care, and we delete posts . The contradiction is untenable.
 
" The situations that generate internal conflicts are numerous: not being able to balance work and private life (women know how this exercise is tricky ) , be facing a dilemma between its mission and values ​​... Georges , 62 , former director of human resources in a telecommunications company , has been forced to make redundancies he disapproved . "I've lost sleep ," he says .
"What pleases us at the end of a working day, it is to be able to bring about an improvement in someone's life , says Alain de Botton . It is not necessarily of great change. Oiling a hinge , help find lost baggage can be very rewarding ... Industrialization has made ​​it more abstract sense of purpose . Unlike the craftsmen of old who knew their customers, factory workers cookies, for example, have lost the benefit of knowing those who enjoy their production ... "
" When the work loses its sense of ethics , moral , logical, we silence our sensibility, but the discomfort affects our private lives and our health ," warns Philippe Davezies , researcher and lecturer in medicine and occupational health at the University Claude Bernard in Lyon. "Where absenteeism, where depression , says Marie- Hélène Brousse .
 
Especially if something in the execution of our task, conflicts with a requirement deeply rooted in our education , "as being forced to take time , not to be too picky about quality, whereas we grew up in the valuation of work well done .

To distance

" Today, two conceptions of work aff rontent , says Alain de Botton . Schematically, one inherited from the working class, for whom work is a means ( to feed his family , to provide free time ) , and the legacy of the middle classes , who see it as an end in itself an indispensable requirement for happiness . In times of crisis, the first vision tends to prevail, we are delighted to have a job , whatever it is .
 
" Pragmatism that does not preclude wanting to improve their professional status without waiting for as it fills completely .
" First step: take a step aside to achieve think ," recommends Nathalie Shield coach companies. Few days off can afford to break the rhythm and start identifi cation difficulties : what are our needs ( structure , team , creativity ) and our main frustration (lack of freedom, recognition) ? What are the advantages and disadvantages of the position that we occupy (responsibilities , salary, quality of life ...)? " Ask yourself a simple question , suggests the coach: if you were to leave everything tomorrow , what would you miss most? " On the negative side , the evidence is needed : colleagues, the place ...
Sometimes it is enough to change a few settings (move his office , working from home one day a week ... ) . But often , " we realize that there is always determined by external pressures , not his needs." Therefore, it is this feeling of sovereignty that must be made to restore , " allowing himself to make his desires , even the wildest ones , so as to revive the energy" , promotes Nathalie Shield. A skills assessment may be useful to turn his dreams into realistic goals.
Seek happiness elsewhere
"What weighs more , it is not the objective conditions in which we work , but the way we look at our business, tip Alain de Botton . When the pain sets in, a job posting is required. " If necessary, seek therapy " which , in our history , leads us to accept or reject work which others bear a very different view from ours , "advises Marie- Hélène Brousse .
 
Find what family injunctions , what weaknesses in self-esteem have directed our course can help us make a difference.
" Put the work in its right place is vital , certify Marie Hélène Brousse . We must accept the fact that the perfect job does not exist, the working life is not everything and that we can not have everything at once . " What is missing in our work can and should be cultivated elsewhere. Carole , 46, educational consultant , enrolled in a choir : "Since I sing, my professional difficulties show acceptable levels , they invade me as much ...
 
" Alain de Botton is "very marked by this precept St. Augustine said judge a man by his social position is a foul. We must remember that we are individuals value before starting to work and we 'll be fine again after ceasing to do . "

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